Passage Of Time
by Demented Koneko
Summary: When Brock and Misty leave Ash to return home, Ash falls into a depression. Will his rival and old friend be able to draw him out of it? AshGary friendship fic. Mild hintings of shounen ai.


**Authors Notes: **A one-shot fic I wrote about a year and a half ago but never really got around to posting. It is basically a friendship fic between Ash and Gary. Also there are mild hintings of shounen ai.

**Disclaimer: **I in no way own the rights to Pokemon, neither do I claim to. So please don't sue. ;;

**Passage of Time**

A loud sigh escaped from the raven haired boy's lips as he stared into the brightly lit flames. Shivering slightly he moved closer towards the fire, stretching his arms out and rubbing his hands together. Again he sighed. The moon was full tonight, and the stars shone just as brightly. Usually he would have lay back, admiring the astounding beauty of the night time sky. Tonight however, he couldn't. Tonight he couldn't do anything but mourn, for it seemed that he had lost those who had mattered most to him.

It was silent. Too silent. All that could be heard was the blowing wind causing the trees and bushes to rustle, and the soft crackling of the fire. Okay so it wasn't silent, but to Ash silence was the lack of voices - the absence of his companions' voices. Despite this he still looked up expecting to see his friends' faces; Brock preparing dinner and Misty softly singing and cradling her Togepi to sleep in her arms. But no, they where gone now. They had left him a week ago. Brock had wanted to return to his family to see how they were doing and stay with them for awhile since it had been so long since he had last seen them and Misty had wanted to return to the Cerulean gym that her sisters ran claiming she wanted to abolish the reputation it had recently acquired of being weak and unworthy of being an official gym and restore it to its former glory.

He remembered the horrible shock when they had told him. At first he thought that he had just imagined it or that they were just teasing him with a strange joke, but the apprehensive looks on their faces when they had told him said otherwise. He knew that they felt guilty about leaving and a part of them wanted to stay with the stubborn, energetic future Pokemon master. At first he had wanted to convince them (beg them) to stay and not leave him but when he thought about it, who was he to stop them from doing what they really wanted to do? Plus they seemed to have had already made their minds up about it.

Although usually awful at hiding his true feelings he managed to put on a smile and told them to go for it, whilst inside he was really crying. Despite him praying to God that they wouldn't make a big deal out of leaving him, they did anyway, reminding him to eat regularly and take extra care and that even if they weren't their physically, they would be together in spirit. They all hugged and Misty wept a bit. Ironically Ash managed to retain his tears despite crying being the very thing he wanted to do more than anything in the world at that moment. And so he said farewell to his long time companions as they went their separate ways. He watched them at the cross road fading into the distance for what seemed like hours. He could have broken down right then and there, but refused to let himself to do so, not in front of Pikachu.

For the past week it had just been him and Pikachu and although he loved his best Pokemon friend dearly he still couldn't help but feel lonely. He felt empty, as if something important were missing. Misty… Brock… They had helped shape him into the person he was today. They were part of him just like Pikachu and without them he felt…incomplete. Not that he was ever complete to begin with but even so, without them a large part of himself was missing and as strong as he was, he knew he wouldn't be able to endure the emptiness much longer.

What was worst was that Pikachu wasn't even there to comfort him like she had been doing for the past week. She was at the Pokemon centre being treated overnight with the rest of his Pokemon. Usually he would have spent the night there too but the centre was extremely small and there was no more room for him to sleep anywhere and with all the Inn's and hotels being filled up he was forced to camp in the woods alone. It was probably a good thing that Pikachu had the chance to get away from him for awhile for he knew his mood was probably making her feel miserable too. It was always like that. When he was happy, Pikachu was happy, when he was angry, Pikachu was angry and so on. He felt guilty. He had tried to let it go and move on but no matter what, the void was still there.

"Why did you have to leave?" he whispered softly. "I know that sometimes I'm annoying but was I really such a bother to you? Before you both left you went on about making sure that I took care of myself. Is the only reason you stayed so long because you were worried about me? How long have you both wanted to leave?" A small tear ran down his cheek. "Dammit, don't cry," He said to himself through a strained voice. "They wouldn't want to see you sad."

_"They didn't think about that when they left you did they?" _spoke the voice at the back of his mind.

Tightly he clenched his fists, doing whatever he could to restrain himself.

Unknown to Ash, there were a pair of hazel eyes watching him. They belonged to none other than Ash's supposed rival Gary Oak. He stared curiously at the boy who sat huddled beside the fire. _"Hey, where are those older kids who travel about with him?"_ he wondered to himself. Suddenly he remembered what his Grandfather had told him. Usually he would call him once a week to let him know that he was all right and to check on his Pokemon that his Grandfather was keeping for him. For some reason now and again he got the urge to ask his Grandfather how the raven haired boy was doing. Not that he really cared about him of course…. Professor Oak seemed to take amusement in his Grandson's curiosity, something which angered Gary and made him promise himself never to ask again. He always broke that promise though.

He was rather surprised when he heard about his two older companions leaving him. He didn't see Ash and his friends that often but when he did run into them they always looked so close to each other. If so, why go leave him? Pretending not to care, he made a joke to himself about Ash not being able to continue his journey now that his friends weren't there to take care of him. Despite taunting him and putting him down a lot, he knew he was capable, maybe not as strong as him but strong nonetheless.

He wondered what happened to Ash's Pikachu. That definitely wouldn't have left him. He knew for a fact that Ash and his Pikachu were practically inseparable. It was probably just at the Pokemon centre. He had planned on staying there the night but it was full, no doubt the reason Ash was out here too. He snorted inwardly. "_That place is probably filled with amateur trainers who couldn't possibly dream of being Pokemon masters. They should reserve places for strong trainers like me."_

He sighed to himself, wondering why he was wasting his time watching this loser from behind the trees like some weird stalker.

Just as he was about to turn and leave, something caught his eye. He screwed his eyes slightly so he could get a better look at the boy. Hey, was he crying?

Ash couldn't stop himself. He couldn't hold it in any longer no matter how hard he tried. He couldn't help being weak and feeling lonely. His friends had abandoned him just like Gary had done years ago. Ashamed, he put his head on his knees and wrapped his arms around his legs, now sobbing loudly.

Gary found himself startled by this. It was hard to imagine the usual happy go lucky kid sitting in the woods alone crying. In fact the only time he could ever recall Ash crying was from years ago when they were little kids and he had stupidly decided to climb up a tree and one of the branches had broke causing him fall and hurt his arm. He had been in a fit of tears, screaming as if the pain was completely unbearable. Gary had comforted him though and eventually managed to get him to stop crying. It had happened so many years ago now yet he remembered it so clearly. He couldn't understand why he remembered something totally stupid like that. It wasn't important was it?

Still supposedly going to leave, he found himself rooted to the spot. Standing there, watching him… it made him sad. But why? It was none of his business after all. Why should he care was going on with that idiot? It wasn't like he even liked him after all. But the longer he stood there debating it, the more he wanted to go over there and do something. Do what? He didn't know. Just something, it didn't matter what cause he couldn't stand it any longer.

"Why did they leave me? Why did they have to go and abandon me? The brown eyed boy sobbed to himself. "I miss them so much. Why can't they just be here?" Without even hearing him or notice, Gary was now standing above looking down on him. The taller boy opened his mouth to say something but for the first time in his life he found himself lost for words. Usually the moment he saw the boy he'd open with a smartass comment about how poor a trainer the boy was or some other taunting remark. But what could he say? _"What's the matter you pathetic looser? Crying because your little friends have gone and deserted you?" _Yes somehow even he realised that wouldn't come over very well to Ash, especially when he was in such a state.

Slowly he took a deep breath. "Hey… Hey Ash?" No response. He frowned and nervously tapped the crying boy on the shoulder. Unprepared for the sudden contact, the smaller boy almost leapt up. His eyes widened in shock as he looked up to see his rival Gary Oak standing there. "G-Gary?"

_Damnit__! What is he doing here! Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse. Great, now he'll probably tell everyone back home that he saw me in forest crying my eyes out like a baby. I'll be the laughing stock of the entire town! _Still partly sobbing he waited for Gary to crack a taunting and sarcastic remark. This was humiliating!

Strangely no remark came. Apprehensively he raised his head to look at the boy again expecting to see a smug smile on his face, but again to his surprise there was none. Instead for some odd reason he looked worried. "Ash, are you all right?" he asked in softer tone than usual.

Quickly Ash tried to wipe the tears away with his sleeve then put on a fake smile. "Yeah, I-I'm fine."

Gary frowned. The kid was a terrible actor, never being able to conceal his true feelings, hence the reason he went so ballistic when ever he taunted him.

"Um, uh, what are you doing out here?" the boy asked nervously.

The brown haired boy sighed. "Same reason as you are, no room to stay at the Pokemon Centre. I was out here looking for a place to sleep, saw you so decided to come over to see what was wrong." He admitted embarrassingly.

"Nothing's wrong." The smaller boy replied hastily.

"Then why are your eyes all red? And why were you curled up in ball like that?"

He bit his lip. He couldn't let Gary know the truth. He had no idea why he was even asking in the first place. "Oh that! I just had something in my eyes and was trying to get it out."

"Don't play dumb with me! I've known you long enough to realise when you're upset!" he yelled heatedly. "Your pathetic excuses and stupid looking smile don't fool me!"

"Fine then, I'm crying all ready! Does that make you happy?" he spat furiously. "I'm crying because I'm all alone! Because I miss my friends! Because they abandoned me!"

"Ash, I-"

"I know I'm pathetic okay! And I realise how amusing you must be finding all of this so go ahead and laugh. I-I don't care anymore…" he added softly before breaking into tears again.

The taller boy cursed himself for making him again. So much for trying to help him... Help? Was that the reason why he had approached him?

"Ash, I'm sorry. I never meant it like that. It's just that, well, I know something's wrong, and I don't want you to hide it from me. I-I'm not going fun of you."

Slowly the other boy looked up. What-what was going on? Was Gary ill or something? Why… Why was he being so nice to him? Was this some sort of a joke?

But what happened next he couldn't believe. Gary was smiling kindly at him.

"It'll be alright, Ash." They Way he said his name, it-it was different than before.

Nervously the boy nodded. "Okay. I-I am crying. I just feel so lonely. Misty and Brock, they-"

"Yeah, Grandpa told me that they went back home."

"I know I shouldn't be making such a big deal over it. After all from the very first time I left home I was supposed to be travelling on own, just me and my Pokemon. But I met Misty the very first day I left, and Brock soon after. We-we've been together for so long now. I guess I just always thought it would go on that way." He stated sadly. "I think that deep down I knew they wouldn't be with me forever, but I… I didn't want to think about it. So I hid the feeling away and well it's been gone so long that I was really shocked when they told me. I just miss them both so much…"

"But you still have your Pikachu, don't you?"

"I know, but I..." He stopped.

"What is it?"

The raven haired boy bit his lip, still to nervous to meet his rival's eyes. "I don't understand. Why do you care? Don't you hate me?"

His eyes widened, taken aback. Ash had thought he hated him? Had he really been that cruel to the boy? "Ash, I-I don't hate you." He began trying to hide the hurt in his voice. "I've never hated you, it's just-"

"Its okay." stated Ash quickly. "I guess I kind of knew you didn't, but sometimes I wasn't so sure. I thought that the reason you stopped being friends with me when we were younger was because you didn't like me anymore."

"It's not that I didn't like you anymore. It was just…" he stopped, sighing. "It's complicated…" Although it hurt that Ash thought that, he couldn't really blame the boy for thinking that way, after all at almost every opportunity he would throw some snide remark at him. He wasn't even sure why he did it. There was just something about the other boy. It was almost like he wanted Ash to notice him.

"Things were changing at that point. We were getting older and soon we would be leaving to go on our journeys and our separate ways. We would be rivals. I-I didn't know how to deal. But that didn't mean I ever stopped caring." His cheeks went red slightly and although it sounded really stupid saying it, it was true nonetheless.

Ash gave a small smile. "Thanks Gary. I-I care about you too."

"Do you feel any better?"

"A little, but I still can't help but feel alone. I still have Pikachu who I love so much but I feel as if something is missing."

"Your friends?" He nodded. Gary chuckled slightly. "You've always liked having others around you don't you, even when you were little."

He blushed. "I guess."

"Well then, I'm sure you can replace them."

"Replace them?"

"You know, find new friends."

He frowned. "You can't just replace your friends and people you care about."

The brown haired boy shrugged. "Why not? You did it with me."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, confused.

"Well we used to be best friends but then we went our separate ways. After that you made new friends."

"What? I never replaced you with Brock and Misty!" Ash cried in his defence. "I-I never stopped being friends with you…but it…"

"I know. It was my fault." He sighed. "I just meant that you went on without me so you can meet new friends and go without them. But I guess it'll be harder this time, since they mean so much to you."

"You meant a lot to me too, Gary, and if you're implying that I was fine when you stopped talking to me then you're wrong."

His eyes widened a little. "What do you mean?"

"I was hurt. I mean really hurt. I couldn't understand why you didn't want to me friend anymore. I thought I'd done something wrong and I spent so long trying to figure out what it was I did to make you stop talking to me. I was even going to beg you to tell me what I'd done wrong but um you were-"

"Acting like a bastard?"

"Um, well I wouldn't have put it like that…" he chuckled nervously. "But I guess you could say that."

Finally Gary sat down, appearing to Ash to be deep in thought. Frightened that he might disturb him, Ash sat there silently. It had been a long time since he had last seen the other boy. Sometimes they ran into each other but not very often. It wasn't like either of them would go out of their ways see each other, but when they did run into each other Ash always found himself glad to see him even if all they really did was argue.

A few minutes later, Gary finally spoke up. "Ash, I…I never meant to hurt you. It's difficult to explain. I never wanted to stop being your friend but-"

"Things change." finished Ash. He nodded.

"I wish they wouldn't change. I wish some things would stay the same forever. "

"Unfortunately the world doesn't work that way."

"Yeah, I know."

"Not all changes are bad though. I'm sure you want to change and strive to be a better person. I mean you wouldn't want to stay the same crappy trainer you are just now forever." he laughed jokingly.

"Hey!" he yelled sounding angry, although in the end couldn't help but smile. He gave a small chuckle. "I guess your right."

"You can't go through life without changing even though there will always changes that you can't help but regret." replied Gary, gazing at him sadly.

"So Misty and Brock's leaving me was pretty much inevitable then?"

"Don't worry, you'll see them again."

Ash smiled. "Yeah that's true! I saw you again after all!" he cried happily.

For some strange reason Gary felt himself blush again. The boy made it sound as if it were something really special. Ash now had that usual cheerful smile on his face and unfortunately he couldn't deny that seeing his old friend with that smile on his face didn't make him happy.

He closed his eyes now smiling himself. _I've done what I wanted to do so I guess I'll leave now?_

"Hey, uh where are you going?" Ash questioned quickly as the other started to get up..

"I was just going to find a place to camp out, that is until the Pokemon centre opens in the morning."

"Oh." replied the smaller boy, trying to hide his disappointment.

Gary stared down at him for a couple of moments. He seemed better now, but well, maybe he was still lonely. In that case maybe he should…

"Hey um, I can spend the night here if you want. I mean all I'm doing is looking for a place to lay out my sleeping bag and sleep the night,"

"Really? Sure!" cried Ash, that same smile back on his face.

Gary sighed inwardly. "_Idiot.__ He gets so excited over the stupidest things."_

As he lay out his sleeping bag, he found that Ash had placed his own quite close to his.

"Hey, remember when we used to sometimes sleep outside together when we were kids?" said the raven haired boy as he scurried under the covers.

"Yeah."

"It was fun, huh?"

"I guess."

_"And it was fine sleeping so close to each other when we were little kids but not now!" _He wasn't exactly sure why it bothered him and why it made him feel nervous. After all, Gary Oak was never nervous. Oh well, he would just distract himself by looking at the stars. He had always been fond of looking at them.

"The sky looks really nice to night." Damn, he forgot he was here too.

"Yeah, it's beautiful."

"It's comforting to look at the stars don't you think? When I'm worried about a big match the next day, I watch the stars until I fall asleep, then when I wake up in the morning I always feel better."

"Yeah with your poor skills you have a lot to worry about, don't you?" the other boy chuckled. Hey, he was allowed at least one sarcastic remark wasn't he?

"Yeah, yeah, but next time we battle I'm definitely going to win!"

"Sure Ash, in your dreams." The kid was cute but obviously delusional. Wait a moment, had he just said the little idiot was cute? What the-

"You know, I-"

"What is it?" he asked sounding frustrated, angry with both himself and Ash for making him think such a thing.

"I...I… well I just want to thank you for helping me. It-it's nice to know that you still worry about me." He said gratefully, blushing.

In the end his words caused the other boy too blush too.

"Um, yeah whatever." he replied, his back turned.

He smiled to himself, softly whispering thank you so Ash couldn't hear it.

A few minutes later he turned around. "Hey, I-" He stopped, the light of fire revealing that the smaller boy was all ready asleep. He sighed.

Oh well, probably for the best. Just as he was about to turn over again he couldn't help but notice how the flames illuminated the smaller boy's features. Slowly he closed his eyes, sighing softly. Okay, so maybe he was a little cute after all.

* * *

Ash yawned loudly, gradually opening his eyes. He sat up and looked at the sky. The sun had all ready rose so the Pokemon centre would be opened by now.

He smiled and remembering the other boy he turned around. "Hey, Gary are you-" He stopped. The brown haired was gone.

Quickly he scurried upwards and gazing around saw that his things were gone also. Loudly he called out the boy's name. Maybe he was just behind one of the trees or something. Nature calls you know. He yelled a few more times till it was evident that he was no longer around.

Ash suddenly found himself upset again. He could have at least told him that he was leaving. But then again what right did he have to demand that off him? Wasn't staying the night and comforting him in his saddened state enough? He sighed, wishing he could have said goodbye to him, after all it wasn't like they saw each other all that often and there was no telling when he would run into him again.

Wondering when the other boy had actually left, he quickly got up and started shoving things into his rucksack recklessly. Maybe Gary was at the Pokemon centre. Maybe if he rushed he could catch up with him!

By the time he reached the centre he was heavily out of breath. He hurried to the reception, looking around at the same time through all the people and Pokemon to see if could spot him.

"Hello Ash, here to pick up your Pokemon?" greeted Nurse Joy in her usual friendly voice.

"Oh, um yeah." He replied, still trying to catch his breath.

She left and returned a few minutes later with his five pokeballs and Pikachu on her shoulder.

The moment the small yellow creature saw her master she leapt into his arms.

Ash smiled and hugged her. "Hey Pikachu!"

"Your Pokemon are all back to perfect health now. Your Pikachu on the other hand appears to be under a lot of stress." said the pink haired woman, frowning.

"I think I know the reason why." he replied guiltily.

"Don't worry Pikachu, I'm all right now. You can stop worrying." Gently he stroked her ears.

"Pika…pika..."

"Hey um, Nurse Joy, did a trainer called Gary Oak come here this morning?" he asked nervously.

"Yes I think so."

"When did he come in? Is he still here now?"

"I'm afraid he left a while ago."

Ash frowned, his face filled with disappointment. "He-he didn't happen to mention where he was headed did he?"

Again she shook her head.

"Oh thanks anyway."

Sighing he placed his pokeballs back around his belt and thumped himself down on one of the seats.

"Last night wasn't a dream was it? No… It was too real to be a dream. He helped me. He-he was concerned about me…"

_"Don't worry; you'll see them again someday."_

He smiled sadly. "Yeah, but I wonder when I'll see you again."

* * *

Gary walked through the forest and thinking of his childhood days that he spent with the other boy, he gave a small chuckle. Despite their rivalry, despite that they hardly saw each other; they still really cared about one and other. "I guess time doesn't change everything…"

**The End**

**Authors Notes: **I hope that was all right and not too bad. I know Misty and Brock leaving in the television series is different but I haven't seen the series in quite along time. Plus it worked for the fic this way. ;; Reviews and any advice on how I could improve my writing would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.


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